24 October 2009


1. "...wake up this morning.
Purple sky slowly turning golden,
distant elms so orange you'd swear they're burning."
cowboy junkies

2.Mindful-Mary Oliver

Every day
I see or hear
that more or less

kills me
with delight,
that leaves me
like a needle

in the haystack
of light.
It was what I was born for -
to look, to listen,

to lose myself
inside this soft world -
to instruct myself
over and over

in joy,
and acclamation.
Nor am I talking
about the exceptional,

the fearful, the dreadful,
the very extravagant -
but of the ordinary,
the common, the very drab,

the daily presentations.
Oh, good scholar,
I say to myself,
how can you help

but grow wise
with such teachings
as these -
the untrimmable light

of the world,
the ocean's shine,
the prayers that are made
out of grass?

3. i have loved you wrong--the swell season

4. dew, by dassler

09 October 2009

hello again.

mostly, just go to the end to read the lyrics & listen to "why it matters"

please forgive my long absence. i've been hanging with a really great guy, and he takes my attention away from the occasional blog post. planning a wedding: march 20. yay! there's a lot to unpack from the last three months or so, but we've got time. even though this post is not sequential to major life changes or the deep things that i can't yet write about this summer and fall...i'll eventually get there, don't you worry.

that said...wow. i heard two pretty amazing talks recently that reminded me. just reminded me, which is why i'm here writing.

andy crouch, author of culture making, shared with us about "living more musically." how can we live in such a way that we experience beauty, harmony, and healthy rhythms, rather than the fits and starts and anxiety that we tend to carry around? his whole pseudo sermon was done from the piano, and he integrated some beautiful melody and worship througout. something in it i was so hungry for, something in it touched an ache in my soul that i didn't know was there.

he talked some about melody and life in relation to bach's prelude in C. the piece begins with a basic and simple series of notes, really. as the melody progresses, more complexity and dissonance is added, making the melody more interesting as the journey continues on. then comes the most haunting and dark and beautiful part, but it feels like it is part of a story (the melody) even though it is very dissonant. and it continues to build and grow more complex. finally a beautiful resolution, which is, like he said, something that we are all longing for.

it touched something in me because i feel like with starting to counsel and get to hear more stories of things happening in people's lives, the more i see the beauty and sorrow all mashed up together.

the second talk he began with a story and a song. the song is called "why it matters". the story is that sara groves went to her mentor, charlie peacock, and asked him why it matters that she was doing the work that she was in writing music.

he told her this story: vedran smailovic was among many who survived the siege of sarajevo. he wanted to protest the death of 22 innocent people, so instead of going into the bomb shelters during the shelling of the city, he took his cello and went out to play mozart in the rubble of what had once been a fountain in the city square. below is a picture of him, and the song she wrote.

why it matters--sara groves

Sit with me and tell me once again
Of the story that's been told us
Of the power that will hold us
Of the beauty, of the beauty
Why it matters

Speak to me until I understand
Why our thinking and creating
Why our efforts of narrating
About the beauty, of the beauty
And why it matters

Like the statue in the park
Of this war torn town
And it's protest of the darkness
And the chaos all around
With its beauty, how it matters
How it matters

Show me the love that never fails
The compassion and attention
Midst confusion and dissention
Like small ramparts for the soul
How it matters

Like a single cup of water
How it matters